Dad is a ruler, but not the kind you think!
Rulers are neither good, nor bad; they just are. Many people think of rulers by how they treat people, but the kind of ruler we need to be thinking about is the kind that measures people (or things). The kind of ruler we put in our school supplies and used to draw straight lines.
Those kinds of rulers simply tell the truth about something’s size. By comparison, one could hold things next to it, and describe them in relation to the markings on it. The ruler is the standard, for better or worse.
In the same way, we unconsciously use our dads as a standard. Though I don’t exactly know how it happens, we naturally begin to compare what others do, say, or think, to what our dad does. And usually, we hold the position our dad was right, and everyone else was . . . well, wrong!
Granted, there are exceptions, but if our dad would spit out the window of the car, our default position on spitting out of the car would be that it is normal. If our dad was a fisherman, all dads should fish, and their children should, too. If our dad complained about the neighbors, we complained about the neighbors. If our dad, told lies, that was an OK thing to do; just don’t get caught!
Dad’s are rulers, . . . rulers by which children determine what is acceptable behavior, and even maybe desirable behavior. Because of this fact, the dad’s influence in his home is far greater than what meets the eye. The example that dad lives out before the children’s eyes is more powerful than words, either written or spoken.
If Dad does something a certain way, that must be the way our family does things.
Dad, you don’t get to choose what things your children copy. Their natural tendency will be to walk like you, talk like you, see the world like you, and see others like you. And it seems the things we most want to change about ourselves are the things our children most easily adopt.
The little copycats in our homes remind us that our lives matter. It matters what we think. It matters how we act, It matters how we react. It matters what we do with our time.
We are not actors on a stage, portraying a person we want to be. We must be that person, because our children are not fooled. They know the real man, and we must be constantly working on helping that man grow into the man we want to be.
Here is a poem that sums this up:
To Any Boy’s Father
There are little eyes upon you,
And they’re watching night and day,
There are little ears that quickly
Take in every word you say.
There are little hands all eager
To do everything you do,
And a little boy who’s dreaming
Of the day he’ll be like you.
You’re the little fellow’s hero,
You’re the wisest of the wise;
In his little mind, about you,
No suspicions ever rise.
He believes in you devoutly,
Holds all you say and do,
He will say and do in your way
When he’s grown up just like you.
There’s a wide-eyed little fellow,
Who believes you’re always right;
And his ears are always open
And he watched day and night.
You are setting an example
Every day in all you do,
For the little boy who’s waiting
To grow up to be like you!
